I’m 38, and one of my closest friends is 72. We have more in common than you might think.

Over time, we became genuine friends

That was also when my relationship with Carolyn shifted from a volunteer opportunity to a genuine friendship. When I felt most adrift, it was grounding to know I had our weekly visit to look forward to. She has always been open about her own losses, sadness, and loneliness. It gave me permission to be open about mine. We could easily talk about family, relationships, or politics for nearly an hour straight, not knowing where the time went.

Our unconventional friendship wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t decided to volunteer (and volunteering is a common recommendation to build social connection). We’re more than 30 years apart, as she’s 72 and I’m 38, we come from different parts of the country, and we have different religious beliefs and racial backgrounds. But we also have a lot in common; we’re committed to social justice, we love to laugh, and we deeply value our families.

Now, almost four years after our first phone call, we take slow walks around her neighborhood or sit in her backyard to enjoy the sunshine when the weather allows. Sometimes, we color, eat lunch together, or do some simple strength-training exercises in her living room, putting my personal trainer certification to good use. We gush over photos of my nephew and her great-great-nieces and nephews.

We only recently started hugging goodbye at the end of our visits. There was something about meeting for the first time during mask mandates and my responsibilities as a volunteer that originally kept us at a distance. But over time, we’ve let our guards down, welcomed each other in, and forged a lasting friendship that will benefit us both for years to come.