I’m a book editor, and my partner is a window cleaner. Not being rivals in our careers has worked in our favor.

He picked me up in a car, which felt a bit odd. I’d only ever seen him in a van. The meal was a success; we never stopped talking. But I remember thinking, “This is weird. I’m on a date with my window cleaner.”

When I told my family and friends about him, I kept tagging him as my window cleaner. “He’s still a guy,” someone said. It made me recognize some prejudice in myself, so I looked at things from another perspective.

On paper, it might not have seemed like a good match. I was educated to a Master’s level, while Alan left school at 17. He worked at a bakery and a factory for many years before starting his window-cleaning business.

Meanwhile, I went into corporate fashion followed by teaching, writing, and book editing.

But, as our relationship progressed, we balanced each other. Alan’s job is dependent on the weather. He can’t go out with his ladder when it’s raining hard, too windy, or so cold that the windows freeze.

Instead of getting wound up, he’ll shift things around and call a customer to check if they need something done inside that day. Many of them are older, and he’s developed patience. If I get mad about a computer problem or meetings not running on time, he’ll say, “Oh, for God’s sake, there’s more to life than that.” He sees another side to humanity.

There is no rivalry regarding what we do for a living

He’s so relaxed, it relieves my stress. I am a lot calmer. I like to think he’s taught me grace.

That he doesn’t have many qualifications doesn’t mean he can’t have a great conversation with him. Alan, a year older than me at 58, knows so much about music, soccer, and game fishing. I attend networking events, and he will come as a plus one. At first, he was nervous, but now he absolutely loves it. People love meeting him because he does something quite different from the typical person in the room.

We don’t compete in any way. I have friends with partners in the same industry. When one says, “How’s work?” it’s almost like they’re trying to get one up on the other. They’ll talk about closing this deal or that deal, and it creates rivalry. Alan and I don’t have that because our work is unrelated.

We value ourselves and hold esteem in each other — not based on what we do, but who we are.

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