I’ve lived overseas with my European boyfriend for 3 years. We still can’t agree on dinner time, investment strategies, or how to talk to each other’s families.

Building a future together

For us, communication and compromise are the best ways to keep the peace. We both take a few steps outside our comfort zones; I agree to eat dinner at 8:30 p.m., and Misha agrees to consider a retirement and investment strategy. He was reluctant to have these conversations, another deeply-held habit of living in the now, and we’re nowhere close to a shared plan, but at least we’re talking about it.

I am taking Georgian lessons several times a week, and my parents have both independently come to Tbilisi to spend time with Misha.

I’ve tried Misha’s childhood porridge, although it has not fully been appreciated, and he’s eaten a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese with a similar result. On Sundays, we sit down and discuss things we find confusing or strange about each other’s cultures. This type of full transparency leads to a “no dumb questions” space where we can kick back and ask any questions.

Our interpretations of the world, experiences, and viewpoints will never fully match up. That’s OK as long as we practice negotiation and patience in our quest to appreciate and understand each other’s cultures.

Got a personal essay about culture shock or relocating that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.