I had 3 kids in under 3 years. I wanted my kids to have the childhood I never had.

I wanted my kids to have siblings

I liked the idea of my kids having siblings — and I really liked having one baby, so why not add more? I had three kids in under three years between 2016 and 2019. My daughters are 13 months apart to the day, and my son, who I had last, is just over 13 months younger than my second daughter.

Which all sounded great until I was living with two toddlers and a baby. To top it off, my son was born 12 weeks early and required a lot of close attention — he had oxygen, as well as monitors that checked his heart rate and oxygen levels. We also had to use a feeding tube, and I had to learn how to place it. Even after he came off his feeding tube and stopped needing oxygen, an infant with 1 and 2-year-old sisters is a lot of work.

Parenting multiple kids takes work but it’s worth it

But it’s worth it now. Eventually, parenting becomes less about preventing children from injuring themselves and more about communication and conversations. I have forgotten how to play, so having kids who can play with each other is a gift, but I very much enjoy reading to them (and now letting my second grader read to me) and spending time outside together.

It’s not easy. I spend a lot of time feeling overstimulated; there is always someone talking to me or many people talking at the same time. It’s basically impossible to work full-time and I am grateful that I can work flexibly as a writer and consultant. Someone always has a doctor’s appointment or is sick. And nothing could have prepared me for the sibling arguments.

But I wouldn’t change it. My kids have the childhood that I wanted: a childhood straight out of a middle-grade book with a park across the street, friends around the block, and siblings who are (usually) their best friends.

And me and my brother? I’ve been visiting home more often and I am getting to know the fascinating person that they have grown up to be, which is teaching me that sibling relationships can still be special even if you didn’t grow up together.