My boyfriend and I moved in with my mom so I could pursue my dream career. We don’t pay rent, and our routine works for us.

Our dynamic works for us

Living with my mom has, on the whole, been comforting and easy. There’s a sense of safety in being back in the house where I grew up, allowing me to focus on writing without the stress of making ends meet. We’ve also found a balance that respects our autonomy and interdependence.

That includes my boyfriend making his signature sourdough sandwiches at lunchtime, unclogging drains, and walking the dog in the pouring rain. We also contribute to groceries and gas — other necessities we’d never expect her to cover.

Since moving home, I’ve experienced publishing success. I’m finding a rhythm in my work that allows me to write with purpose, rather than out of necessity. I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’m doing it precisely where my obsession with writing and storytelling first began.

My boyfriend’s got his routine here too. He loves hitting up the community center, he has his favorite cafés, and he got a bike to cycle through the city’s mountainous landscape. He’s growing closer to the friends I grew up with, and even considers it one of his homes now.

Vancouver will be one of our three bases, with the others being San Francisco (where most of his friends and family are), and London (because our hearts really haven’t left). We’ll be leaving next week to try out some time with his family in San Francisco, and my mom’s thrilled that we’re going to be sharing a continent for the next little while.

The move confirmed that it isn’t just OK to lean on the people who love us, but also, that it can sometimes be entirely necessary. If it means taking a step ‘backward’ to start your business or work for yourself, it’s not a setback. It’s a strategic decision that leverages the good grace of having a safety net to fall back on. And for that, I’m endlessly grateful.