Courtesy of Stephanie Ross.
She said she wouldn’t dream of being paid for childcare. It made financial sense. We had other expenses, including a car payment, because we needed a bigger vehicle with room for three car seats. The car seats and specialized, triplet stroller together were $1,600.
It took Mom about five months to sell her house and settle her affairs before leaving. We managed pretty poorly in the meantime. The triplets were up every two hours at night, and feeding and changing their diapers was physically exhausting. I wasn’t eating much of anything because there wasn’t time to fix myself a meal.
Mom’s arrival in May 2022 was a lifesaver. It was a bit crowded because we have a three-bedroom home, including the nursery. She took the spare room. The dynamic took me back to living in my parent’s house as a child, so it felt a bit weird at first.
Luckily, Andrew has a great relationship with my mom. He lost his mom in 2004, and his dad died in 2006 when he was just 18 and 20. Mom is like like a mother to him.
She followed our parenting style. She’d get up in the middle of the night whenever one of the kids was crying. Andrew and I finally started to get some sleep.
We frequently wonder how we’d managed without Mom’s help
In August 2023, she used her parents’ inheritance to build a 550-square-foot apartment from scratch in our yard. It’s just steps away from our back door. It has one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen. The contractors trenched the whole yard, laid the foundation, and hooked it up to electricity and sewer.
Mom moved into the unit in the early summer. It’s given her more space to decompress. It wasn’t great for her to be an adult woman going from owning your own house to living in your daughter’s spare bedroom.
Her hours are usually between 8 a.m. and around the kids’ bedtime. She’ll make breakfast, lunches, and snacks for them. She’ll take them to the park or the zoo. Then, once I’m off work, they’ll have dinner before bath and bedtime.
Andrew and I often think about how we might have managed without her. He would probably have had to reduce his work schedule — already unpredictable because it’s retail — but the significant drop in income would have hit us hard.
We know we’re fortunate because we’ve heard horror stories from other people who struggle with childcare and finances. More tax credits and subsidies need to be introduced for working parents.
As for Mom, she is happy. She has developed an incredible bond with her grandkids. The other day, I saw her cuddling with Alice while she was watching her favorite show before bed. It’s wonderful to have someone so close who we love and trust.
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