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6 wedding traditions that are overrated, according to wedding planners

October 4, 20240
As more couples live together before marriage, sleeping apart the night before their wedding is losing its appeal.

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The tradition of spending one’s wedding eve apart stems from marriage’s roots as a contractual obligation rather than a romantic one, Brides reported. Keeping the couple apart until the wedding was a way to ensure the bride’s virginity and create some mystery before the ceremony, as many unions were arranged.

But in 2019, the Pew Research Center reported that nearly half (48%) of adults in the US believe couples who live together before marriage have a better chance of having a successful relationship.

So, with more couples living together before tying the knot, the tradition has lost some appeal.

“You don’t need to change that dynamic of your relationship for one day,” Lara Mahler, founder and owner of The Privilege Is Mine, told BI. “So it’s like, wake up next to your partner. Also, why pay $1,000 for a hotel suite, you know, so that one person can stay in there?”

“Eat breakfast the way that you do together. If you like to work out together, go work out,” she added. “Do those things that will make you feel comfortable and give you that sense of security.”

Brides feeling forced to wear white
Zizza recommends letting bridesmaids choose their own dresses.

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Bridesmaid dresses can be a major point of contention when planning a wedding, especially for couples with large wedding parties.

That’s why Lauren Zizza, founder of Lauren Zizza Events, recommends letting bridesmaids choose dresses they feel most comfortable in.

“I think that women especially are self-conscious about their bodies, and no woman would look the same in any dress that a bridesmaid would have to wear,” she said.

Instead, she recommends letting bridesmaids choose their own shape or style, perhaps in a color selected by the bride.

“It photographs really well, too,” Zizza added. “Everyone has different personalities and different styles and that shows through in a wedding party.”

Walking down the aisle with only your father
The garter toss is losing its appeal.

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There’s a lot to unpack with this wedding tradition. Per The Knot, a bride’s garter has been a symbol of good luck since the Middle Ages, so it became customary to throw it to guests. However, since garters were traditionally worn to keep up stockings, they could also represent a bride losing her virginity.

Over time, the garter toss has become the male equivalent of the bouquet toss, but both have largely lost their appeal, with some couples now viewing the traditions as unnecessarily gendered, and even embarrassing.

“People don’t even usually bring it up as an option. They don’t even have any interest in doing it,” Taylor said.

“But if I have a client say they want to do a garter toss, I say, ‘OK, let’s make it happen,’ because it’s about them and what they want. If a client says, ‘Do I need to do a garter toss?’ I say, ‘Absolutely not. You absolutely do not need to do a garter toss. If you’d like to do one, I’m happy to facilitate that, but it’s totally not something anyone’s gonna miss, or you’re gonna think that you wish you should have done in 25 years,'” she added.

And tossing the bouquet
What matters most is that the couple is happy.

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“It is not my job to judge or make assumptions,” Mahler said.

“I’m not going to be the wedding planner that’s like, ‘No, don’t do that, that’s stupid,’ but I also just want to let people know that there are alternative ways of doing things so if they’re opting to do this because they don’t know any other way, then it’s my job to tell them what those other ways are,” she said.

Taylor added, “It’s putting a spin on some of these traditions that can make it fun.”