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- Pete Buttigieg said he called Elon Musk to address concerns over Hurricane Helene relief efforts.
- Experts say phone calls can resolve conflicts better than digital communication.
- However, if miscommunication is likely, a written message beforehand may help.
Picking up the phone really is the best way to figure things out when issues arise with colleagues, experts say.
US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg had the right idea when he called Elon Musk about Hurricane Helene relief efforts after the tech billionaire posted some inflammatory statements on X, accusing the government of closing the airspace in Asheville, North Carolina.
“We were able to take care of it,” Buttigieg said in an interview with MSNBC. “And, I think, to me, it’s an example of how often the best thing to do is just to pick up the phone.”
A call can help straighten things out more easily than emailing or DMing back and forth, Khyati Sundaram, the CEO of Applied and a de-biased hiring and workplace expert, told Business Insider.
“We’ve all sent WhatsApps, Slacks, and emails that have been misunderstood or misconstrued,” Sundaram said.
“It’s far easier to accurately convey our intended sentiment and meaning in person or over the phone,” she added.
Connecting in a digital world
Victoria McLean, a career coach and CEO of the career consultancy City CV, told BI that it’s easy to rely on emails or texts in a digital world.
“But nothing quite compares to the clarity and connection of a real voice conversation,” she said.
McLean said relying too much on digital communications can lead to burnout, especially because someone’s intention and mood can be hard to gauge through written text.
Phone calls, in comparison, allow for real-time, personal discussions “where tone and emotion are conveyed much more clearly,” McLean said. This, she said, allows for a deeper understanding of each other’s perspective.
“Jumping on the phone can cut through the noise and lead to faster resolutions,” she said.
Still, there are some caveats, including when emotions are high and if miscommunication is likely.
Calls also aren’t for everyone, with phone avoidance, or “telephonophobia,” being quite common among employees, according to The Wall Street Journal — especially those under 40.
David Rice, an HR expert at the publication and community space People Managing People, told BI some people “behave differently when interactions take place solely through the use of a keyboard.”
But phone calls, in general, also help build better relationships in the long run, Sundaram said. In calling Musk, for example, Buttigieg “successfully set the record straight and got the tech tycoon on side,” she commented.
When emotions run high
Rice said it’s vital to make it clear that you’re seeking to understand a colleague’s point of view if they have a reputation for being particularly difficult or combative.
“Find what need isn’t being met and try to address it,” he said.
Rice recommended using language that avoids making demands, as this can put people in a “defensive mode.” Instead, he suggested using phrases such as: “I would like us to use this time to reset a bit and come to an understanding.”
Sophie O’Brien, the founder of the entry-level recruitment agency Pollen Careers, told BI that one of the most important things you can do in this situation is to try to empathize.
“Why is this person being combative? What motivations or problems are they facing that could lead them to act this way?” she said. “By trying to empathize and understand where they’re coming from, you might then be able to communicate in a way that resonates with them.”
O’Brien added that someone’s reaction may be because their emotions are leading them or they are being reminded of a conflict that ended badly.
“Maybe they’ve argued with their manager or are under a lot of pressure about a work project,” she said. “That’s not to say that it’s acceptable, but it’s important to remember that it’s likely not personal or about you.”
In this case, she said it’s best to be mindful of your own tone, keep the conversation light, and make space and time for listening.
“Always pause before reaction,” O’Brien said. “And make sure you’re actively listening to the problems so that you can address them directly.”
Emily Maguire, a career consultant and business coach at Reflections Career Coaching, told BI it’s important to consider “the four Cs of communication: clarity, conciseness, consistency, and courtesy.”
She also recommended “I” statements that place no blame and allow all parties to express their thoughts.
“You can defuse particularly combative colleagues by looking at things objectively, actively listening, focusing on the facts, and staying impartial,” she said. “Doing this will allow you to identify the issues that need to be addressed and justify and implement change where needed.”
Tara Arutunian, a licensed psychotherapist in New York, told BI that while phone calls can be quicker for getting to the heart of a problem, it might be better to send a detailed written communication first if the situation is particularly complicated or someone is feeling highly stressed.
“Emotions can run high,” she said. “Particularly if one or both parties pick up on a sense of blame or criticism.”