I can’t afford a babysitter to watch my kids while I work. I rely on their grandmother and my partner for childcare.

I work weekdays and Saturdays. My current partner had to request that his hours be changed so he can have the kids every other Saturday.

When he can’t take them, they have to go once again to my ex’s mother. She’s our only option. I couldn’t work otherwise.

When she has them for me, I have to drive 40 minutes from the salon to hers. I don’t even get out of the car or speak to her — she just sends the children out to me. We then have a 40-minute drive home, arriving back at about 8:15 p.m. and rushing to get them ready for bed.

My partner and I don’t get date nights

The price of hiring a babysitter also means I don’t get out with my current partner except on special birthdays. None of our family lives close enough to have the kids for us to sneak away for dinner, just the two of us.

When I wrote about this on Threads, a lot of people commented that if I were worried about my kids’ safety, paying for someone trained and capable was worth every penny. I get this concern, but I can’t afford the prices they are charging. My entire paycheck would go to babysitting.

If someone could charge minimum wage or even up to $10 an hour, I’d give them work to watch my kids right away. It’s what they would be paid for working at a fast food joint; it’s a lot less work, and it’s all I can afford.

The hours I spend cutting hair, I also spend having endless conversations with clients. So many of them have told me they, too, struggle to either find affordable babysitters or day care centers. Some have started working from home to avoid childcare costs. Some couples have decided that one parent would work and the other stay at home, which usually means one parent rarely sees their kids and the other is exhausted and wishes they could get some time away from the kids.

It isn’t just me, and it isn’t just that some of us are “too poor” to access babysitters and day care.